Tuesday, June 16, 2009

flat awkward moments

Life is full of weird and awkward moments. Here was mine for today:
So, this morning I left for work with a feeling that I was missing something. I looked down to make sure I had my shoes, clothes and purse...check. I shrugged it off because the same thing happened yesterday but came to nothing. Later, I realized my phone was still at home. That must be it. Oh well, it wasn't a big deal because I don't use my phone much during work anyway. Then, halfway through the day, I had a realization....I wasn't wearing a bra! awkward. What does one do at that moment? Should I make an excuse and go home to get it? Was it even noticeable enough to matter? If I hadn't thought of it until then, could it be so bad?
I was wearing a sweater vest so I decided it wasn't a big deal and just went on my merry way throughout the day, albeit a bit more self-conscious. I guess there are benefits to being flat-chested. Or maybe that is why I hadn't noticed until midday...hmmm. Has that ever happened to anyone else?

Is it considered uncouth to blog about this? Regardless, this experience inspired me to write the poem below and I laugh at myself every time I read it:

ODE TO THE FLAT CHESTED
Although we complain,
we're free from the pain
top-heavy ones get from their backs.
No extra bounce
annoys when we flounce,
go running, or jump over cracks.

Our necklaces lay
straight down and they stay.
Into your eyes more men will gaze.
Less time in the plan
to do self-exams.
Mom said we'd grow out of this phase...

Clear views of our toes
should silence our woes.
It's a blessing, instead of a flaw.
Cuz you can spend a whole day
going your way
not knowing you forgot your bra!

6 comments:

Ralphie said...

Emily, I did this not too long ago on a SUNDAY! I got to sacrament meeting and realized I didn't have one on. But I had to stay so I just busted through it! hehe

Being flat chested has some great advantages!

Sarah Bauer said...

So very clever of you! I love it!

Rachel said...

Lol, you are a funny girl. I love you! I still remember the day in Junior High when I realized that I actually HAD to wear a bra- sometimes it would be nice to not I think...

Kirsten said...

love the poem! the closest I got was forgetting to bring one in my gym bag before work...needless to say, I went back home...

Melissa Hislop said...

I concur. :) Its happened to me at least twice, with little to no point in going back for one.

I am reminded of Thoroughly Modern Millie. "HER beads lie flat."

Karen Ella said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Em. My word, I miss you. You are hilarious.

Karen Ella