momentum

My family has started an annual Limerick contest for our newsletter. Ok. So it's only the second year but I am excited. My family is so clever, creative and FUNNY. I'm pretty sure I won last year because all 3 judges picked one of mine for their top 3... Many of the submitted limericks contain family jokes but you can still appreciate them. I thought I would share a few of my favorites from last year:

The single girl only wants to be wed
The single guy only wants to be fed
Both starved for affection
They seek for attention
and end up online dating instead. (me)

Box elder bugs are in the air
They fly into my face and hair
We called the Orkin man
He had a good plan
Now bugs sit in the goo and despair (missy)

I took a whiff of helium
and then I turned petroleum (green)
some thought I was a moron
but then I ate boron
and then all the kids yelled uranium! (kimi)

When given a diabetes diagnosis
you can't learn it all by osmosis
Education's the need
I perform that deed
and greatly improve your prognosis (me)

dang it Emily is good
she must have lived in the hood
she's got her thang
and she goes bang bang
like all the rest of us should. (kimi)

Provo is called happy valley
everyone's named sappy sally
it numbs your brain
they're all insane
add one more to the lost cause tally. (kimi)

and my personal favorite, full of cannon-isms:

EDP's! Pet the worm, okay?
There's beauty all around us today.
Oh fun! General Lee
has knocked down a tree
Bad month, mrrr. I once saw a play. (paul)